So Let's Talk about "Awareness"

So October is upon us, with its cooler days and more colorful neighborhoods, pumpkin scented candles and apples baking in the oven, leaf piles and pumpkin patches.  It also means endless reminders to raise our awareness.  October is breast cancer awareness month, and domestic violence awareness month, and pregnancy loss & infant loss awareness month, and Down syndrome awareness month.  It is "awareness" month for so many things, I feel like the term awareness is losing its meaning.  What is it we are hoping to accomplish with all this awareness anyway?  Is there anyone out there who isn't aware of what breast cancer is, or how many woman are affected?  One of my best friends from high school has been fighting that battle just this year, and she is not the first, nor will she be the last friend I know to fight it.  We are so inundated with pink everywhere, I find it hard to believe there is anyone who does not know how they are supposed to check for it.  Haven't we moved beyond "awareness"?  Similarly, I know far too many people who have suffered pregnancy loss.  It's so pervasive, I can name more people who have suffered a loss than who haven't. Is awareness the problem?  I don't think so.  Of course, the most personal to me is Down Syndrome  awareness, and again I can't help but think awareness isn't the problem.  Everyone is aware of Down syndrome.  So what are we trying to do by reminding people?  "It's Down syndrome awareness month. Just thought you should know." How does that improve life for my son?

It's time to move beyond awareness.  I don't want people to be aware of my son. Awareness doesn't change anything.  People are aware, yet they still assume, avoid,  pity him, and by extension, me.  I do not want people to make assumptions about, or feel sorry for my son. I want people to know my son.  I want people to respect my son. I want people to accept my son.   They can't do that unless they experience my son.  How can they do that?  When you go to the park with your children, and they play with other kids, encourage them to play with my son too.  When my son engages your children, don't move them away.  Do you strike up conversations with other moms?  Don't avoid the mom whose kid has Down syndrome.  Let your kids ask questions.  We love to talk about our kids, too.  Most importantly, don't think that the extra chromosome makes my son so different.  It doesn't.  In all the ways that matter, our kids are the same.  My son can sing and dance, and read books.  He can be sweet and loving and kind, but he can also be angry and stubborn too.  He plays baseball and performs on stage.  His is a life full of wondrous possibility, just like all kids.  If you are so inclined, find out when and where the nearest Buddy Walk is and show up!  Move beyond awareness.  Educate, accept, include, celebrate!  Eventually we can move past all these "awareness" labels and October can become "Down Syndrome Celebration Month" or "Breast Cancer Victory Month."  At least, that's my goal.