Random Tales From the Motherhood Trail

So I'm trying to potty train Elijah and Gabe at the same time. Oh joy. I have to tip my hat to you moms of twins and triplets or more. On the first really serious keep-them-at-home-and-naked-and-make-them-drink-too-much-water day of our adventure, I started with the method that had worked so magically with Nicholas. Potty presents!!! They each had their own basket full of goodies haphazardly wrapped in brightly colored tissue, and told them they could have one each time they went on the potty. As it turns out, this is the same day they both suddenly developed bladders of steel. I made them start drinking water, and kept them drinking, but when we went to sit . . . nada. I basically spent the first, oh, three hours of my day going up and down the hall putting kids on the potty every 10 minutes, and I have to tell ya, it's wayyy more exhausting than it sounds. Eventually, we went in, Elijah sat down first and "Hallelujah!" there was pee!!! Never thought I'd ever get that excited about a bodily fluid. So, after much excitement and celebratory high fives, Elijah gets down and Gabey gets on, and . . . nothing. Elijah, being the helper that he is (I'll have to have a whole separate post about this new phase), he says to his brother, "Gabey, you got to pwess you bewwy button! Dat make it go!" Alas, Gabey's button wasn't registering quite yet. He did get his first success shortly thereafter, and had only one accident that day. I ended the day very excited at the prospect of moving out of diapers. The next day I got them their first new underwear, which was a fun diversion for all of a day. Turns out I have to check the enthusiasm a bit.

It's been fun watching how Elijah's brain works. Whereas Nick, at the same stage thought "Cool, I get presents for going potty. I can do that." Elijah thought "JACKPOT!" He very quickly turned the training into a tool for aquiring new things. He would ask for a present for the slightest amount of production. He'd go for about a second and a half, and then give me this wide-eyed look and say "It stopped. Now I got to get a potty pwesent!" Then he'd go right back to the potty, and if it didn't happen, he'd say "I think I need some wa-ter" and go drink some more. I ran out of potty presents that day. I made an emergency shopping trip that night while they were in bed and bought every cheap toy from ever dollar store bin in the area. Nick's rewards lasted much longer, but he isn't the manipulator Elijah is turning out to be. Eventually we had to turn to M-n-Ms (thank you Godmommy!) They are cheaper and last longer, but Elijah is still doing his best to finagle as many M-n-Ms has he can. Gabe, on the other hand has pretty much decided it was fun for awhile , but now he's over it and may I have my diaper back please? ~~sigh~~

School started and Gabe still has to wear the diapers to school because he has no bowel control, but I sent the M-n-Ms and they will work with him there, and when he gets home, I make him run around sans britches. He will get there. It's just going to take a while longer. Elijah is basically there, he just needs to work on the bowel control. He has the pee mastered, but he's still working the M-n-Ms to the best of his ability. He also started saying, when he sits down and nothing happens immediately, "Just give it few seconds." Gee, I wonder where he learned that?

When they are both finally done, and I can cross diapers off my to do list forever, I am throwing one big party. Who wants to come?

Seven Years Ago Today

After months alternating between fear and anticipation, and 15 hours of labor, I met my miracle. He was born at 9:05 am, and weighed exactly seven pounds. Although he made it to 38 weeks and was a healthy weight, he still was whisked away from me before I could hold him. For seven hours, I had no idea what was happening with my baby boy. I was taken to my room, and my only distraction was news coverage of a massive fire that had broken out at the newly built Santana Row shopping complex. And a nurse aptly named Charity. Charity came and sat on my bed and wrapped her arms around me and just let me sob. She stayed with me for quite awhile, and came back often. She got me through the longest seven hours of my life. Finally, at 4:00 in the afternoon, I was able to go to the NICU and see my beautiful Gabriel George. His heart wasn't working properly and he couldn't keep his oxygen levels up. Over the next ten days, we met with cardiologists, and Gabe and I worked very very hard to establish nursing. Not easy when your baby is too tired to wake up and has the muscle tone of a rag doll, which is exactly how he felt when we held him. After ten days, we were allowed to take him home, along with several boxes of oxygen and extra cannulas. Seven months later he had surgery to repair his heart.

And now, seven years later, he is the most amazing little human I have ever known. He loves music and dance. He loves his brothers, and has a particularly tight bond with his baby brother. If I dare show up to pick him up from school without Elijah, the first words out of his mouth are "Mommy? Where zha-zha?" He has no shortage of self esteem. He is quite in love with himself, really. He will dance in front of the turned off TV and watch himself in the reflection all day long if I let him. This June he performed in his seventh recital.
He loves going to school, and is on the cusp of reading.

There really aren't words sufficient to describe the love we share. He is an amazing miracle and I am so grateful he is mine.
I am, without a doubt, the luckiest mom in the whole world.

A Special Day

Yes, it has been too long since I've posted. What can I say, except I'm a slacker. I promise to do better in the future. Since it's been so long I'll keep this one short and to-the-point. Gabe's class went to the Special Games event put on by the local Kiwanis. It was a fantastic day, and Gabe had a grand time. Really, the look on his face says it all. If that is not the epitome of joy, then there is no such thing. Check out my Peanut. Dontcha just want to eat him up?

Better Late Than Never: Buddy Walk '08!

I promised to put up pictures from the Buddy Walk 3 months ago, but my camera got dropped and met its maker, somehow in the process corrupting a file on the card, so we couldn't download them. No reader could find the pics. My awesome super genius hunny figured out a way to get them onto his work computer, so now we finally have them YAYYY! To recap - this year's Buddy Walk was a success in terms of turnout, despite the downpours of rain - which I actually quite enjoyed, as opposed to the heat of years past. Fundraising was down, but that was to be expected. The best part was having Sharkie , the San Jose Sharks mascot there! Gabriel and Nicholas even made it onto the local news!!! (Not sure if the link is still good, but if it is, you can see the segment here. Gabriel and Robert are at 1:42, and Nick is at 2:20 into the video.)Sharkie helped our team lead off the walk, and both Nick and Gabe loved him! Elijah was a bit timid, what with him being terrified of his own shadow and all. So, I'll stop blathering now, as I know all you really care about are the pictures. Enjoy!

Here is Gabriel with Sharkie:

Getting ready to start the walk, with storm clouds looming in the not-so-distant distance:

The Firefighters came and brought an engine for the kids to explore. The kids loved this more than the bounce houses!

He make look like he's all cuteness and light, but behind the precocious smile lies the heart of a true troublemaker. I can't fathom where he gets it!

My Sweet Peanut. Dontcha just want to eat him up? This kid melts my heart daily.This is my amazing wonder woman friend, Marcie, and her beautiful daughter Maddie. We're hoping to be related by marriage someday. =)

Life with Boys

I get asked every so often what's it like to live with all boys. I think daily life is best described by these handful of words that constitute 90% of my daily conversation:

NO! Get your hands out of your pants! Get your finger out of your nose! Don't put that there! Get off your brother's head! I said NO! Why is your (jacket/shirt/shoes/jammies) on the floor and what are you going to do about it? Ewwww. If you'd listened the first three times, I wouldn't be yelling. Your shirt is not a napkin. Don't pester your brother. Don't hit your brother. Don't bite your brother. Don't touch. Give that back. Share or I'll take it away. Don't put that in your mouth! Don't put that in your ear! Dont' use that tone of voice with me. Get off the table. Get off the counter. Get off me! Stop running. Stop yelling. Just stop. Be nice to your brother. Go to your room. Go outside. Go jump on Dad. Go to bed. I love you. I love you more. I love to the end of the universe and back. Sweet dreams, I'll see you in the morning.

Another Christmas Has Come and Gone

It came so suddenly this year, it seems. Here we are in January, and I still have Christmas cards I haven't mailed. Or maybe I'm just that disorganized.

Nick was sick so we started Christmas Eve rather slowly, just hanging out in our PJs, and tracking Santa on NORAD. I LOVE that site! I also love that my 8 year old still wholeheartedly believes in Santa. I'm not sure how many years of that magic we have left, but thanks to NORAD, I think we can make it last a wee bit longer. We had to scrap our plans to attend church together, because Nick' fever hit 103 in the afternoon. I told him we'd have to stay home, and he was quite distressed at the thought of not going to Grammy and Papa's, which is our tradition. We gave him some medicine and told him to sleep. His fever came down so we decided to go. This is a picture of them getting ready to go, in their matching outfits. I'm thinking I won't have too many more opportunities to do that either. At some point Nick is bound to balk at the thought of dressing just like his two pesty little brothers. I couldn't get them to all smile so I said "Say Santa!" and this is what I got:






Here they are patiently (or in Gabey's case, NOT so patiently) waiting for their one Christmas Eve gift before bed. Could Gabe possibly look more disinterested? Had to throw in a pic of Robert and me. I don't ever get any good pictures of me, not that I would say this is a "good" picture, but at least it is photographic evidence of my presence at Christmas.

Gabey in his Troy Bolton shirt. I am quite disappointed to report that I didn't get any good pictures of Gabey's Winter Recital this year. He was amazing. Seriously. The kid kicked ass and took names. He had memorized the entire dance from the end of High School Musical to the song "We're All In This Together", but then got up there and decided to just improvise - he was AWESOME! He was throwing together moves from Grease, HSM, Wiggles, and then he struck a couple of poses. He was just so exuberate and happy! Several parents stopped us afterward to tell us they thought he stole the show. He does so love to perform, and it shows. Maybe he's got a future in it? Who knows.

I'll post more photos later. I am having all manner of issue with the upload on this, so you'll just have to suffer with these few. Merry Belated Christmas and Happy New Year!

Snow Day!

Last week, like most of the country, we experienced some extreme weather. It was much much colder than is usual for our area, and there was snow in the low foothills around the valley, a rare occurrence indeed. So one day after school, I took the boys for a drive up to Skyline and had a play day in the snow! Nick was thrilled! When we were getting ready to come home for some hot chocolate, he told me "Oh mom! This was a dream come true!" I just love how the simplest things make him SO happy. Elijah threw one of his monster tantrums when we first got there, but he finally took a moment to look around and notice everyone else was having fun, and caved to the pressure. The boys don't know yet as we want to surprise them, but we are planning to drive to Washington for New Year's Eve, where they can really enjoy the snow!

New Family Portraits

Finally got around to getting new pictures done with the whole family. What do you think? I look at Elijah and think "One of these things is not like the other . . ." I can't believe we managed to get all of them smiling at the same time, and more than once! Miracles never cease! If the grandparents see these, I know what you're thinking . . . your hard copies are coming via eight reindeer and a jolly fat man!

Election 2008: A study in Contradiction

Like a great many Americans, I wept tears of utter joy this week. The election of Barack Obama was such a monumental moment in our history, and something I am so proud to say I helped make happen. Yet, the next morning, my joy was tempered by a profound sadness over the passage of Proposition 8 here in my state. How is it possible that my state, that boasts of such diversity and openness, could possibly amend our constitution to enforce discrimination? I just don't understand it. Our nation can be proud, and celebrate that it has, at last, broken the barrier of color, and elected a man to the Presidency, because of his immense qualifications and in spite of his skin. The profound irony is that as we celebrate that accomplishment, we simultaneously, at the state level at least, chose to uphold discrimination and bigotry in our laws.

For those who don't know or are confused about Proposition 8, the text was quite simple. Proposition 8 asked voters to amend the state constitution to read: Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California. That's it. Proponents of Proposition 8 wanted to change the constitution to strip marital rights from gay couples. The constitution is supposed to protect civil rights, not take them away.

Marriage predates religion. Marriage existed as a social contract in ancient civilizations, and in the case of the Greeks, same sex marriage was considered equal. In fact, the Christian Church did not outlaw same sex marriage until sometime in the early 4th century. So to claim that marriage is a religious institution first is incorrect. In our country, marriage is in all cases a civil right granted by the government. Couples are free to also have their marriage sanctioned/blessed by their particular religion, be it Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Hindu, etc. but it is not a requirement in our society for marriage, because we are a nation that recognizes many religions, as well as the right to not have a religion. If we hold to the concept that marriage is only a religious institution, you necessarily exclude all heterosexual couples who do not participate in a religion. We don't do that, because marriage is first a civil right bestowed by the government. That is to say, you can be married by the state without being married by the church, and it is still a marriage like any other, but you cannot have a marriage by the church without it also being recognized and approved by the state. Each of those marriages, the one sanctioned in a church, and the one not, is equal.

In the case of Prop 8, and other similar legislation, people of deeply held religious conviction are asking the state, the secular government, to apply a religious litmus to the marriage contract. They are in essence asking for the state to apply religious belief to all who seek marriage, regardless of whether all who seek marriage share that religious belief. This clearly oversteps the separation of church and state, and the proponents of this legislation know that, which is why they hide their intent behind fear and lies. This brings forth the next great irony of this election. The "Yes on 8" campaign was funded mostly by the Mormon Church in Utah. (Don't get me started on another state getting into my state's business, that's a whole other can o'worms). How ironic that the a church whose foundations were forged in the fires of discrimination would now turn and exert that very same discrimination upon another group of people. I'm not even sure irony is the right word. Perhaps hypocrisy is the more apt term. Adding to the hypocrisy is that a "christian" movement couldn't even be bothered to run an honest campaign. They swayed voters with lies and misinformation. One of the arguments they made is that churches would be forced to conduct gay marriage ceremonies or else lose their tax-exempt status. It is ridiculous on its face, or course, but that is the argument they made. The court decision last May that said gay marriage was protected under our constitution specifically addressed the religious freedom of churches and assured them that they will not be compelled to conduct any acts antithetical to their teaching. In the short time that marriage has been recognized as a basic right afforded to all, not a single instance of churches being forced to accept something against their teachings has materialized. The government does not and will not have the authority to tell churches who they can and cannot marry within their walls. If it could, Catholics who marry non-Catholics would have had a field day in the courts many times over. No, churches are not in any way having their doctrine dictated to them. They are still free to say no to whomever they deem unworthy of their blessing.

Worse than the false charge about government intrusion into religion, the Yes on 8 campaign lied about what children learn in school. California curriculum has not changed since marriage was recognized as a right for all. It will not change when it is once again recognized as a right for all. Sadly, these tactics of lies are typical in any election, but what does it say that a group of Christians feels compelled to engage in this kind of deceit? I am reminded of Mohandas Gandhi, when he said "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ. "


Eventually, I have faith that the rights of all people to marry the one they love will be recognized legally, if not accepted by all. In the meantime, this Christian will be happy to know that at the National level, we have overcome at least one barrier. Bigotry is not dead, but it has been stricken a blow. I can take some joy in that, and continue to have faith that the rights of all people to love and marry who they choose will be the next barrier overcome.

Comparing the Economic Plans of McCain and Obama

There has been much accusation flying back and forth between presidential campaigns regarding economic plans. I'm hearing a lot about how the other guy will raise your taxes. Who to believe? I don't put much stock in ads, so best go to the source, I say. The Urban Institute Brookings Institution Tax Policy Center has taken a hard look at the plans put forth by Senators McCain and Obama, and offered a detailed analysis of how each. If you want to read the whole thing, click here for pdf, or here for html version. It's kind of a dry read, so I'll just share a few tidbits, that I feel are important:

The two candidates’ plans would have sharply different distributional effects. Senator McCain’s tax cuts would primarily benefit those with very high incomes, almost all of whom would receive large tax cuts that would, on average, raise their after-tax incomes by more than twice the average for all households. Many fewer households at the bottom of the income distribution would get tax cuts and those whose taxes fall would, on average, see their after-tax income rise much less. In marked contrast, Senator Obama offers much larger tax breaks to low- and middle-income taxpayers and would increase taxes on high-income taxpayers. The largest tax cuts, as a
share of income, would go to those at the bottom of the income distribution, while taxpayers with the highest income would see their taxes rise.

Being as my family would fall into the "middle-income" bracket, you can probably guess whose plan I find more attractive.

There is some common ground between the two plans. Both candidates agree that the elements of the 2001 and 2003 tax cuts primarily affecting those with incomes below $250,000 should be extended, that the estate tax should be substantially reduced but not repealed, and that the research credit should be made permanent (though Senator McCain would change the formula by which it is calculated). Both candidates would continue to limit the number of taxpayers affected by the AMT but would not repeal it.

However, the differences between the candidates’ plans are large. For one thing, both have a back-to-the-future look to them—McCain continues major themes of the Bush administration (lower marginal tax rates, low taxes on capital) while Obama follows the Clinton administration approach of expanding targeted tax breaks for social policy objectives and introducing new tax breaks. Their distributional impacts differ greatly as well: Senator McCain’s plan gives the largest tax cuts taxes to high-income taxpayers, while Senator Obama’s plan directs the largest cuts toward lower-income taxpayers.

What I find disconcerting is that according to their analysis, both plans will see an increase in the deficit, and I hope that there will be some re-tooling to make deficit reduction a bigger priority.
Something to consider when you go to the voting booth. In researching all of this, I discovered a new blog I'm adding to my favorites called Economistmom. Check it out!