Autism Awareness Day; Celebrate your child! Or not.

Maybe I am living in a bubble.  Maybe I just choose myopia.  Maybe I have enough conflict in other areas, that I choose to ignore conflict I don't want to see.  I am really very sad and disappointed that, in reading through the myriad posts and links and articles today, I am finding so much conflict and anger and dissention in the Autism community.  I hadn't realized there was such a groundswell of opposition to Autism Speaks or that the idea of "celebrating" our kids could be so offensive to some in the Autism community.  I know that the roads we walk are not always the same.  I know Autism is different from Down Syndrome in that regard, that there is so much greater variance among those born with it.  I do know my son was born with it.  Maybe I would feel differently if he were on the other end of the spectrum, and not high functioning.  Maybe I would be angry, and believe with my whole heart that something was done to him.  But that is not my path.  My path is what my path is, and I celebrate my son because I love him exactly how he is.  I hurt when he hurts and wish he didn't have to struggle, but doesn't every parent experience that to some degree?  Does anyone's child, neurotypical or not, have an easy, challenge-free life?


My path includes Autism and Down Syndrome and medical fragility.  Vaccines did not cause my son's condition, but what if it had? If I had been told you can vaccinate your son, but he will forever walk this path as a result?  What if, knowing that I could save him, I risk the life of my other child?  My middle son is a veteran of four different hospitals, his early years defined by medical challenges and immune deficiencies. So maybe I could have saved one son from challenges and heartbreak, but I would have put another son in grave danger at the same time.  So, I admittedly have a very hard time empathizing with the more vociferous anti-vaccine voices out there. As alone as the special needs path can sometimes feel, the truth is that we are all interconnected, and a decision like the one to vaccine or not is not made in a vacuum, and it has real word consequences beyond our own bubbles.


Of course, I have a husband who grew up with all the same challenges as my oldest son, but no diagnosis, so when I hear that the rate of Autism is now 1 in 88, my mind doesn't automatically look for a villain in the form of needles.  I think that makes sense, because our generation had so many kids go without a diagnosis.  They have been there all along.  We just didn't see them.  Which is why I choose to celebrate, instead of being angry.  Because so may people now can look at my boys, all three of my amazing, wonderfully non-typical, special needs boys, and SEE them for who they are.  If I could take away one son's Autism, or the other's extra chromosomes, I might make their life easier, but I would lose the very special things I love about them, and they would not be richer for it.  So I will celebrate their differences, and I will celebrate their struggles, and I will celebrate the very amazing victories bourne of those struggles.  Our path may not be well paved and easy to follow, but it is adorned with amazing grace and beauty, and I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.