School starts again in 20 days. Less than 3 weeks. It feels like we just got out of school and they have to go back again already. I'm not ready to send them back. Nicholas had such an awful year emotionally last year, and at the start of the summer, he was still tense and having problems dealing with . . . every little thing. But now that we have had a few weeks to relax and be together, he is my little boy again. He is laughing, and happy. He is playing legos WITH both of his brothers instead of hiding his legos from them and playing alone. He is playing with his Thomas trains again, with his little brother, and he wanted to go see Thomas when he came for Day Out With Thomas. He wanted to see the Winne the Pooh movie, and watch Thomas the Tank Engine stories. And he seems so comfortable and content with himself. A summer of being able to be himself, and enjoy doing what he loves, and he feels good again.
I'm not ready to let go of that. I am loving this time with my boys, and I don't want to see it end. I am anxious about the start of the new school year, with Nick and EJ in different schools, and what Nick's new school and class will bring. Last week, I had a meeting with my homeschool consultant to talk about Gabe and set his new goals for the year, and I met another mom in our group who is homeschooling her son who is 14. We started talking, and as she was telling me about her son, she could have been talking about Nick. Turned out her son has Asperger's too, and has had all the same struggles. So now I'm wondering if I shouldn't consider doing it for Nicholas, too. Honestly, I don't think I am up to the task, and am not really thinking seriously about it. But if Nick doesn't start having social success, and make friends, if I start to lose the happy boy I just got back and start to see the insecure, sad boy from last year, I might change my mind. I know I need to give his new school and teacher a chance, and I do have high hopes for his new placement. I'm just not quite ready to start yet.
I just want more summer time to just BE. To have stress-free, commitment-free, stay-up-late, sleep-in-a-tent, do-whatever-we-want-time during the summer with my little boys while they are all still little boys. Can we just get an extension?
