I Can't Believe We Are Still Having This Conversation

A couple of weeks ago, Ann Coulter used the R-word to describe half the country.  As far Ms. Coulter goes, this is hardly shocking.  We live in a country where hate sells and she is the number one peddler of the commodity.  She should apologize, of course, to the millions in the special needs community, who are harmed by that word daily, but she won't.  Apologies are for grownups  and decent human beings. Ann is neither, so I'm not going to waste my time asking.

No, I'm more interested in the thousands of regular people out there chatting about this (or anything else) on Facebook and in comments on blogs like this one.  What shocks me is how easy it is for people to continue to use this word, and to DEFEND using it, knowing fully the pain it causes others.  I have heard every lazy excuse there is, none of which has any validity.  I have had people quote the dictionary to me, as if I, a college educated woman,  professional educator by trade and special needs advocate by way of my children, somehow did not know that the technical definition of the word is "slow."  Yes, we know what the definition is, thankyouverymuch.  I have had people screech "First Amendment!" as if what we have been asking is not simple consideration, and instead a full constitutional amendment banning the use of the word.   Yes, you have a fully protected right to use whatever words you may choose.  We are not trying to outlaw anything.  We are merely asking that you consider, for the briefest moment, the effect of the words you choose. No need to hide behind the Bill of Rights.  The most offensive defense I've seen, however, is the one that claims if the intent of the person using the word was "innocent", then the person who is hurt by the word is the one at fault for allowing their feelings to give the word power.

So, let's get real.  Here is a fact, and the only fact that really matters.  The word "retard" and every variation in use (including retarded, libtard, conservatard . . .) is hurtful.  It is a cruel word that causes pain to human beings.  Period.  Nothing else matters.  If you use that word, whether to be self-deprecating or otherwise, you have and will HURT people.  That's it.  Your intimate knowledge of Mr. Webster's dictionary does not absolve you.  Your constitutional rights do not make it less cruel.  Yes, you have the absolute right to continue to use that word.  You DO NOT, however, have the right to tell others that their feelings are invalid.  You DO NOT have the right to dictate how others feel or how they react.  So, if you feel your right to use cruel language is more important than the feelings of those around you, go ahead and use it.   But do the rest of us a favor and own it.  Truly, OWN. IT.  Don't cower behind the Constitution or a dictionary.  Speak the truth.  Tell the world "I use this word because the feelings of others do not matter to me.  I will use this word because I don't care about those it hurts."  You'll still be an ass, but at least you'll be an honest one, and that's one better than Ann Coulter.